


The Fear of Falling Apart

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 15:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1475353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She tells him she loves him when it’s much too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fear of Falling Apart

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is based off a post I saw that said something along the lines of "what if they only realize they're in love when one is dying in the other's arms?"

This is gospel for the fallen ones / Locked away in permanent slumber /

Assembling their philosophies / From pieces of broken memories

* * *

 

 

Leo’s lost, stumbling blindly for the words that won’t so much as grace his lips when he sees her. He places a hand on his forehead, feels the beads of sweat transfer onto his palm; he doesn’t know how to fix _this_. He retracts his hand and kneels beside her, bringing her head into his lap, cradling her against him. Leo feels as she shakes against him, her hand clutching at her side where a wound bleeds freely; she wants him to hold her against his chest, to wish away the blood and the pain.

Jemma allows her lids to flicker, blinking them closed before they flutter open to reveal her dying eyes once more. She tries to sit herself up but he lays her back down; Leo tells her she needs to stay as she is. He shakes himself out of his jacket and balls it up, bringing it down to the hole in her side, helping her to apply pressure as best he can. She looks into his teary eyes, trying her best to fake a smile, to give him the hope he needs more than she. She has already made peace with death.

“Fitz?” Her voice is scarcely audible and he has to lean down to hear what she says to him.

“Yeah, Jem?” He feels her bloodied hand rest on top of his own, helping him to press against the wound. This little touch causes him to give the slightest trace of a grin.

“Can I tell you something?”

“I would hope so.” He stifles a laugh, feeling as few tears threaten to fall. Leo wants her to talk to him, to distract him from the mess he is making. He’s not the biochemist, the doctor, the one who mends the bodies and patches up the wounds; he sits at the scientist’s side, muttering words of encouragement into her ear. He is the engineer, the one who fixes _things_ , not people.

Jemma allows herself a sigh, closing her eyes for a long moment and worrying Fitz. When she reopens them she tries to sit herself up again, using her fading strength to reposition herself. Leo swears against it, telling her she needs to stay still, sounding very much like Jemma herself when she is with a “patient”. She opens her mouth to speak, bringing her head up as Fitz lowers his own again. “I suppose now is best a time as any to tell you.”

Leo clings to her words, keeping a firm hand on the jacket that is placed against her wound as he listens to what she says. With unspoken words, he curses; he is angry that he has to watch her suffer, angry that no one has come to their aid, angry that no one is there to listen to his silent pleas for help for _his Jemma_. Because he knows what she is going to say.

“I love you, Fitz.”

Never, not in all the years that they have known one another, has she said these words to him. There have been moments when one would come close but never have the three simple words slipped from either one of their lips. Now, as she lay slipping in and out of consciousness in his arms, Jemma regrets not telling him sooner. Because now she wonders, and she knows he wonders too, what could have happened between them had the words been said sooner?

Leo doesn’t speak for sometime but keeps his teary-eyed gaze on her own brown eyes, trying to smile as her breathing becomes more ragged, as she prepares for the final stretch of her battle. Before she slips under again, he says to her, “I know.”

With closed lids, a small grin forms on Jemma’s pale face. Her breathing becomes more even now and her hand slips from where it had rest on Leo’s own. Though she can’t say the words aloud, Jemma jokes to herself, because _of course_ he would quote the scene from Star Wars to her as she rests in his arms. Because he’s Fitz; he’s her best friend, the man who has been beside her the whole damn time, the one she can always go to no matter the situation.

Her eyes do not reopen and after another moment, her breathing ceases as well; the low rise and fall of her chest is no more. Leo holds onto her still, bringing his head down to press against her cold forehead, knowing his tears are staining her porcelain skin. He doesn’t say it, but he blames himself, blames himself for not seeking help even when there was none to be sought out, and above all blames himself for not saying he loved her sooner.

 **  
**  
Leo Fitz isn’t sure when he drifted off, but wakes to find himself back in the facility, resting in the same two-bedroom room that he and Simmons had picked out when they first arrived some three weeks before. He sits himself up and looks about the place, feeling a chill ripple down his spine. “I’m sorry.” He utters, burying his face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Jemma. I'm sorry I couldn't fix this."


End file.
